The Merry Go Round in My Life

You know that old saying “God will never give you more than you can handle?” Yeah, that’s baloney. Straight up fantasy. God very often, all the time, gives us way more than we can handle. How else would we learn to lean on him? If we can handle every challenge that comes our way, what do we need God for? Why do we need his strength?

This fall is shaping up to be quite the humdinger for me. August has already flown by in a series of meetings, days full to the brim, late nights working hard to get everything done. We are serving in two different areas at our church this year; working with the teens on Sunday morning as we did last year, and leading a life group as we’ve done the past few years. That’s pretty manageable.

We’ve got four kids under the age of six – the oldest started school this month and the youngest is one of the sweet, happy babies that just goes along for the ride. Four kids is a lot of work, but it’s pretty manageable.

We decided to homeschool this year for kindergarten. It’s kindergarten, so the daily commitment isn’t too long, and one day a week Javi is going to a co-op run through the public school system. He gets to be with other kids and I get a day where I don’t need to fit school into our day, so it’s pretty manageable.

My eBay business has really started to take off, and I’m starting to get into bulk auctions so that I can more easily increase the volume of items I have for sale without spending hours and hours sourcing. I’m gearing up for the holiday season, making sure I have lots of inventory and getting it all up in my eBay store so that it can sell! It’s a lot of work but it’s fun and so far it’s pretty manageable.

We’ve also decided to sell our house. We’re looking to move to something with another bedroom or two, and hopefully a bigger kitchen to more easily accommodate our growing family. But most importantly, we are looking for a house with an in law suite: something that has at least one bedroom, a living space, a full bathroom and a kitchenette. An area that is completely separate from our space, with its own entrance. That way when we have family visiting or friends in town we can comfortably host them, and whenever we don’t we can rent out that space on AirBnB. I’m really excited about this idea. If we had nothing else going on right now, it would be pretty manageable to take on moving. But…

Coupled with everything else going on in our life, I feel a little bit like I got on one of those playground merry go rounds that is spinning too fast and I can’t get off. I feel like I’m hanging on for dear life with white knuckles and eyes squeezed shut, trying my hardest not to fall off. On the days where I stop trusting that this is what God has for us in this season, and start looking at the calendar with all of our days filled up, and my to-do list that never seems to shrink, I get overwhelmed. I start thinking that this entire juggling act of the many balls I have in the air is going to get the best of me. I wonder if I will ever have a day where I will wake up and think “hey, I have nothing to do today!”

There are seasons of rest and seasons of quiet days and simple schedules. This isn’t one of those seasons. This is a season that is difficult for me, as I try to find my footing with four kids, as we dive into the world of homeschooling, as I try to build an online business, and we sell our house. Change is always hard, the constant demands of mothering are always challenging, moving is always disruptive. But we are certain that we are hearing from God in each of these areas, so we are moving forward one step at a time, one day at a time, one item crossed off on my to-do list at a time. I’ve got way more than I can handle going on right now, but that’s okay. I’d rather need God than have a life so simple and manageable that I’m never looking for the ways that God is going to step into my days and show himself mighty on my behalf.

So if you need me, I’ll be on the merry go round. But I’ll be doing my best to laugh and enjoy the spinning instead of being afraid and overwhelmed!

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